Struck By Serendipity

Life has given me some lemons. Most of them rotted in my fridge until trash day.

First 5K of the Season November 11, 2009

Filed under: Running — Jan @ 11:46 am

Tonight is my first 5K of the season.  I’ve run approximately 6 miles since my last 5K in April to prepare for this event.  It’s been too hot in Florida to run, so I have a legitimate excuse to cover for my illegitimate excuses for being lazy.

Tonight isn’t just any 5K.  It’s a 5K over a bridge & back.  When I pointed out to PC that this meant I would literally be running uphill both ways, he promptly pointed out that it also means it’s downhill both ways.  I guess I’m just not a “glass half full” kind of person when it comes to torturing myself with an ill-prepared race.

While a cold front is coming through tonight, I don’t think it will be cool enough to pull out the lucky orange pants.  You may recall I started a trend last year:

Colusa Bug Chase 5K 1.24.09 I editedColusa Bug Chase 5K Jan 15 years ago edited

Turkey Trot 2008 2

I’m thankful that I will get to run in the cover of darkness for this race.  My goal is to simply finish it without walking.

Wish me luck!  :)

 

 

“Glitch” November 3, 2009

Filed under: Just Ignore me While I VENT, Work — Jan @ 3:24 pm

I work with a lady who constantly screws up.  She spends more time trying to fix her mistakes than she does doing things the first time.  Unfortantatly, she’s rarely able to resolve her issues herself, which means people like myself spend a lot of time fixing her problems.

After approaching her about her latest series of errors, she sent out a mass e-mail with corrected information along with an explanation:  “There was a glitch in the reporting yesterday.”

I’ve spent the last hour talking myself out of replying, “Yes, a ‘glitch’ named Sara*.”  (*not her real name)

I guess it goes to show that I’m way more evil than the 22% the Gemantriculator calculated.  However, if you had an entire inbox of somebody’s else’s mistakes to fix, you may be tempted to do the same thing.

Back to work…

 

My Gangster Parents October 30, 2009

Filed under: Ahhh Crap., confessions, family — Jan @ 7:00 am

Gangster Parents

Next time you accuse me of being a dork, please understand that it is genetic.

This is a picture of my parents trying to look “intimidating.”  My dad and his friends send “funny” e-mails to each other accompanied by themed pictures.  In this e-mail, my father was trying to show his friend that he would be a good consultant for his friend’s new contract with Homeland Security.

Seeing this picture brought me back to the embarrassing period called “childhood.”  My dad had two goals as a father, (1) to raise good kids, and (2) to embarrass the hell out of us at every chance.  After almost 27 years and thousands of miles separating us, he continues to embarrass me.

Retirement has left my parents with way too much time on their hands.

What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents did to you OR you did to your kids?

 

My Real-Life Ghost Encounter October 28, 2009

Filed under: Holidays, confessions, family — Jan @ 9:37 pm

I grew up in an old house on the edge of Bloody Hill, where the deadliest battle of the Civil War took place in 1861 and General Lyon was killed. As a result, I heard more than my fair share of ghost stories growing up. My older brother and his friends even went on “ghost-hunting” outings at night.

Thinking logically, I don’t believe in “ghosts.” I’ve always believed in angels, but not ghosts in the way they are typically described. However, one summer in the early 1990’s that all changed.

I was sitting on the edge of our pool by my babysitter with my feet dangling in the restricted deep-end, facing the house. My brother and the babysitter’s brother were playing in the water. All of a sudden, I noticed a faint outline of a man standing in the doorway of the back door. There were no features visible; it was a transparent fog-like outline with distinct edges. He was tall, several inches over 6 feet.

After he saw us staring, he turned and ran away, going through the kitchen. As he passed the closed kitchen window, the curtains blew.

I turned to my babysitter just as she looked at me. Her face was as white as mine probably was. We confirmed we had seen the same thing and called the boys out of the pool to discuss what happened. Being the logical individuals we are, we decided that we must have saw a shadow (even though I knew darn well it wasn’t a shadow). We slowly edged around the house in a huddle to see if there was a car in the driveway. There was not.

Later that summer the same fog-like figure came into the living room and turned up the stereo. I saw the volume dial move as it got louder. He then ran from the room as quickly as he had arrived. I stayed under a blanket on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon.  (In hindsight, I can’t blame him. We were rocking to Michael Bolton).

My parents hated hearing the ghost stories and eventually fired the babysitter for “putting ideas in our heads.” I didn’t find out that they, too, had experience with this ghost until 13 years later.

My dad slept in the basement guest room due to his surround-sound snoring. He acknowledged that the ghost bothered him that summer, as well. The ghost banged on the walls, turned the t.v. on and off, and flashed the lights during the night. Eventually, my dad spoke to the ghost, telling him that although he wasn’t afraid of him, he was scaring the children and needed to leave our home.

My dad told this story to our neighbors last year. Our neighbors looked at each other in shock, asked what year this occurred, and then told my parents that at the end of the same summer in question, their house had become “haunted.” They too, eventually asked the ghost to leave and had no further problems.

So, believe what you like. …And have a happy and safe Halloween!

 

Adapting to Curve Balls October 24, 2009

Filed under: divorce, real life woes — Jan @ 6:32 pm

I quit playing softball in 5th or 6th grade, well before girls my age learned how to pitch curveballs and change-ups.  I had mastered hitting the slow-pitch, knowing the mechanics needed to hit the ball successfully.  But a curve ball?  I had never seen such a thing.

Life for me was very similar growing up.  I was a happy, carefree child.  My biggest stressors were what to wear to school and how to annoy my big brother.  While my friends were suffering through their parents’ divorces and living in unhealthy home environments, I was fortantate to have supportive parents and no worries.  I got scholarships while my friends worked three jobs.  I was in love while my friends were heart broken.  Everything was easy.

While I’m thankful to have experienced a great youth, I’m now learning that I missed out on an important lesson…  I never learned how to adapt to curveballs.

Reality slapped me in the face about a year and a half ago when my ex did some horrible things & left.  It hurt me and I honestly haven’t been the same since.  He rarely even crosses my mind anymore, but the psychological damage I suffered due to his actions have taken a toll on me.

Since that day, I have suffered from anxiety & mild panic attacks.  I get stressed easily & allow it to affect many areas of my life.  After dealing with the anxiety for a year & not being able to control it, I decided to try therapy.

It’s been an enlightening experience.  I’m still not sure what to make of the lessons I’m learning, but I’m becoming more aware of why I am the way I am.  Although I always leave sessions thinking I have more problems than I did when I arrived, I think this route has potential to help me grow into a more well-rounded individual.  (Let’s just hope it happens quickly, because I can’t afford this guy for very much longer!)

I’m hoping once the weather cools down, I can return to my two favorite de-stressors:  (1) jogging and (2) relaxing on the beach, listening to the waves crash at my feet.

What’s your favorite way to deal with the stresses of life?

 

While Reading Playboys… October 22, 2009

Filed under: Randomness — Jan @ 2:40 pm

A couple of months ago I rented a house from a co-worker & discovered his forgotten Playboy collection in the bathroom closet.  That was just the beginning of the surprises that this 3′x5′ space had in store for me.

An even more awkward moment came when I realized what else there was to look at while using the restroom.  Here’s what a male peeing in my restroom sees:

Bathroom Toliet View

Who would want to look at their penis while peeing?!?  There is no other explanation for this random mirror placement.  It completely skeeves me out. 

I’m hoping my male readers can explain the fascination.

 

My Blonde Moment October 19, 2009

Filed under: I'm an Idiot — Jan @ 6:00 am

 

Shortly after moving to Florida, I discovered an awesome custom ice-cream shop in my hometown, Ice-Creamations.  Each time I would drive by this shop, I would make a mental note to go there next time I needed something sweet.

 

A year flew by & I still hadn’t gone there.  I pulled up to the stop light in front of the store and realized my error…  It wasn’t Ice-Creamations, an ice-cream creation place.  It was “I.C.E. Creamations,” a funeral parlor!

 

Can you imagine the awkwardness I would have experienced walking into this funeral parlor looking to create my own dessert?

 

I’ll Miss My TV Tray… October 16, 2009

Filed under: Dogs, Randomness — Jan @ 2:00 pm

 

Last December I sold my dining room table on craigslist for $100.  I only mention the price because it is so unbelievable.  It was a 10-sided(!) ugly piece of junk, complete with gold legs & scratches, that I picked up at a garage sale when I was a poor college student. 

 

After I sold it, I realized that a single gal only needs a tv tray for dinner.  However, my guests throughout the last ten months complained disagreed, so I recently bought a dining room table.

 

PC had previously given me a bench that screamed “dog seat!” that matches my table.  Here the boys are being bribed by a turkey sandwich modeling my new purchase:

Boys at Table

It’s no secret that I’ve been stressed beyond my limits studying for the CPA exams.  Stress causes me to shop, regardless of whether I can afford it.  Here’s my latest “I’m too stressed to study so instead I’ll shop” purchase:

coasters

I bought these coasters on etsy.  I was transfixed by their beauty & thought they’d look great on my new dining room table.  After I paid for them, I realized that people don’t use coasters at a dining room table.  Only poor college students using tv trays for 10 months need coasters.  But alas, they’re already purchased so I will insist that all guests using my dining room table also utilize my gorgeous coasters.

 

Exhausted October 12, 2009

Filed under: I'm an Idiot, Just Ignore me While I VENT — Jan @ 11:04 am

 

The last few years, I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard to meet my goals.   I’m in the “home stretch,” only needing to pass four measly tests to get my CPA license.  These exams should take me six months to pass.  But each morning I’m questioning whether I have six months of 60-70 hour weeks left in me. 

 

This morning I had trouble entering my workplace because I was trying to use the “unlock” button on my car’s keyless entry to open the door.  I slyly put the keyless entry back in my purse and proceeded to use my access card to unlock the door.  “Tired” doesn’t begin to describe my state of mind today.

 

Yesterday, I paid my bills.  My cable bill showed a “past due” balance because I sent last month’s payment to my old address’ account in error.  I had to call the cable company to have them transfer the credit on that account to my current account.

 

The next bill was my water bill, also showing past due.  Perplexed, I pulled up my bank account to confirm that I sent the check 3 weeks before the bill’s due date.  After much research, I determined that the water company didn’t receive my check because I sent it to the wrong town!  I entered the correct street address, but the incorrect town on my online bank’s bill-paying site.  Tomorrow I have to go into ghetto-town to pay my water bill before it’s shut off.  Hopefully the check I sent to the wrong town will make its way back to my bank account.

 

Isn’t it frightening to think that I’m taking CPA exams, but yet I can’t even manage to pay my own bills correctly? 

 

I need a break.

 

Real Life Adventures October 8, 2009

Filed under: Ahhh Crap., Cody — Jan @ 7:00 am

No topic is off-limits for mommy bloggers.  They discuss everything about their kids.  I have gross problems that I encounter with my kids dogs as well, but I usually respect my dogs’ privacy & don’t share these details with the world.

 

Sure, I could tell you about the time we went to the dog park & Cody viewed the adventure as a poop-buffet, only to throw up 18 piles of soggy poop in my brand new SUV on the way home.  It took me months to clean up that mess.  But I won’t share that story, because that would be crossing the line. 

 

Instead I’ll share another ongoing poop-related story about Cody…  Let me preface this story by telling you that he poops a LOT.  If I take him on a 1 mile walk, he usually poops 3-4 times.  It’s amazing.

 

The other night I was taking video of Cody.  Everyone has a friend who insist on making stupid faces whenever being photographed.  Cody rebels against video photography by pooping in each video.  After two crappy attempts at securing a clean video, I tried a third time:

 

 

So close!

 

[This post is a fantastic example of why I promise to never again share gross stories about my kids dogs on this blog.]